Absolve Me Read online

  “That’s good to hear,” she said, spotting a familiar address in her inbox. “Hey, Ange—can I call you back? I gotta do a work thing.”

  “Of course. Hang in there, baby. We love you.”

  “Love to you and Bells.” She ended the call and frowned at her screen. It was an email from Susan Cooper.

  Hi Liza!

  Hope things are going well with you. I’ve got another client I’d like to send your way. It’s a simple forty-something-year-old-virgin case, so I don’t think it will be as challenging as our last consult, but it would make me very happy to be able to refer him to you.

  Let me know when you might be able to work him into your rotation!

  Thanks again and take care,

  Susan

  Liza sat for a few minutes, tapping her finger on the mouse pad. If she accepted the referral, it would be her first new client in more than a month. It was what she needed in order to get back onto the proverbial horse. So why wasn’t she jumping on the opportunity?

  Dear Susan,

  Thank you so much for thinking of me! Unfortunately, I’m not taking on any new clients at this time, but I promise to let you know if and when I regain availability.

  Best,

  Liza

  Her inbox refreshed less than ten minutes later, and Liza was surprised to see that Susan had responded.

  I’m going to reduce myself to begging again—please, Liza, please agree to see this client. I know I owe you a big one already, but this client would be a snap for you, and I don’t have another surrogate I trust with any free time until late fall. Please tell me there’s some way we can make this work!

  Shit. She really, really didn’t want to. And wasn’t that an interesting realization? She’d been working steadily for more than eight years, building up her professional reputation and experience. If she thought about it, she’d finally hit the point where she could be pushing hard to expand her business, and instead...she found herself wondering if a serious break was in order.

  But hell. It wasn’t Susan’s fault that Liza had taken the bit between her teeth with Dominic La Sera. And a straightforward case might help her regain focus and remember why she’d gotten into surrogacy work in the first place.

  All right, she typed. Let’s schedule him for Thursday, if he’s available. I’m free all afternoon.

  The return email was fast. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re a lifesaver. I’ll email you details by Thursday.

  Liza closed her laptop, rotating her neck to try to loosen the tight muscles there. At least she had a few days to prepare, and whatever she ended up deciding to do, this client would either make or break her.

  * * *

  It was a bittersweet sort of feeling that followed Liza into Thursday. She loved her work. She was so damn proud of what she did, how she helped people, how she broke down barriers and used her skills and education and passion to make a difference.

  But there was no question that she’d made a mistake, one that profoundly affected her professionalism and had her questioning her own judgment. Surrogacy required a strong code of ethics and ironclad self-control. Liza had allowed herself to walk the razor’s edge, reveling in the wild and wonderful connection she and Dominic had shared, and she’d been fortunate that the only person she’d hurt had been herself.

  Perhaps it really was time for her to take a step back and re-evaluate what she was doing with her life. She’d neglected her personal relationships to the point where she’d starved herself of the kind of intimacy that she craved, leaving her vulnerable to the temptation of a client who’d seemed like a perfect fit.

  Although if she was being honest with herself, Dominic was a perfect fit. Client or not, priest or not, Liza couldn’t help but feel that her biggest shot at a wild, passionate love had walked out her door without even a backward glance.

  With fresh scars on her heart and a sober mind, Liza went to answer the doorbell to greet Susan’s referral client. She fixed a smile on her face and resolved to do what was right by the man on the other side of the door.

  Who, to her shock, turned out to be Dominic La Sera.

  Her cheerful greeting died on her lips, and she stood dumbfounded as Dominic pegged her with a rueful expression, his brow wrinkled up and a wry smile tugging one corner of his mouth.

  He wore casual clothes, but now they looked odd on him—she’d cemented the image in her mind of Dominic as he’d looked conducting Mass, regal and untouchable. Now, an ordinarily handsome man—who seemed to have stolen a huge piece of her heart—stood on her stoop, waiting for her hello.

  “Um, Dominic. Hi,” she managed. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m Dr. Cooper’s client,” he admitted. “I needed to talk with you, and I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me.”

  “You could have called,” Liza blurted, still off balance. “I’m sure I would have picked up.”

  “Would you? You ran away awfully fast from St. Joseph’s the other week.”

  Liza blushed. “You saw me?”

  “Yep. I was hoping you were there to talk to me. I searched for you after the service, but you’d taken off. I figured you must be mad—not that I blame you. Would it be okay if I came in?”

  “Um...yeah. Sure. Come on in.” Liza stepped back to make room, but in the narrow entryway it was impossible to avoid the brush of Dominic’s chest as he slid past her. His scent hit her nostrils, and that flutter of desire hit her unbidden. The familiar sensations twisted like a knife into her most vulnerable self. She stiffened and pressed back against the wall, which didn’t escape Dominic’s notice. Liza couldn’t quite meet his curious gaze. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen,” she offered. “I could use a drink.”

  She felt his eyes on her as she led the way, and neither of them spoke until Liza had poured two generous glasses of iced tea and doctored them up with a splash of bourbon. She settled onto a stool at the kitchen island and gestured to its twin.

  Dominic sat warily, sipping his drink. “I’m sorry. First and foremost. I shouldn’t have left that morning without a note—I just didn’t know what to say. I was overwhelmed, and I wasn’t sure yet what I wanted to do. I thought I’d give it a day or two, and then we could talk it out, but... I got a little scared of how I was feeling. It was cowardly, and I’m very sorry, Liza.”

  Liza shrugged, feigning an indifference she didn’t feel as her thoughts raced in time with her pulse. “It was your decision to make. I do wish you’d wanted to discuss it with me, but it’s obvious that you felt we’d done enough.”

  Dominic set down his iced tea and leaned forward across the countertop, his expression earnest. “You helped me to understand myself in a way I never could have imagined. Because of you, I know what I want. Because of you, I’ve decided what I want in my life and I’m prepared to go after it, no matter what it takes.”

  She blew out a breath, meeting his impassioned gaze. “That’s wonderful, Dominic. I really do mean that. Our sessions were successful, then, and I couldn’t ask for a better outcome.”

  “Why did you come see me at the church?”

  She sighed, swirling a fingertip around the rim of her glass, trying to decide how much of herself she could still share with this man without gouging any more divots into her bruised and battered heart. “I guess...oh hell, I just wanted to see you. I wanted to understand why the priesthood held so much sway over you. To be honest, I’ve never felt a sexual and emotional connection as powerful for me as what we did together, and I had—still have—a very hard time with the idea that you’d want to give that up. Look, I’m the one who owes you an apology. I should have listened to you, believed you unconditionally when you told me this was the only acceptable outcome for you. Instead, I let myself...” She trailed off, jumping off the stool to pace. “I let myself think our sessions would change
your mind, would show you how important I think expressing your sexuality is. And then...and then when you were so, so—so fucking perfect, I thought maybe you felt even more, too.”

  Dominic stood as well, bracing his hands on the counter. “I did. Believe me—it was a complete eye-opener.”

  She was dumbfounded. “But you went back to the church! That’s the part I didn’t understand. If you...felt even a bit of what I felt, how could you have been so quick to give it up?”

  “I thought at first that my choices were mutually exclusive—one thing or the other. Something new and exciting and raw and real versus what felt safe and right and normal.”

  Liza was already shaking her head. “I get that now—I do. Watching you conducting Mass, speaking with such genuine passion and faith... I don’t really understand it the way you do, but I see the effect you have on people, and what it seems to do for you. If that’s what you need, no one has the right to tell you not to do it.”

  He pushed off from the counter, stalking around the kitchen until he stood right in front of Liza, forcing her to look at him. “That’s just it. If you’d stuck around afterward, I could have told you. I’m leaving the priesthood. I’d already made the announcement—I was filling in for Father Stephan, who’s got a bad flu. That was my last Mass, my last sermon. I was saying goodbye.”

  Liza froze, unsure of what she was hearing, unsure that it meant what she wanted it to mean, deep down where forbidden hope still held sway. “Leaving?”

  He smiled gently. “You were right. I thought I had to stay a priest in order to serve, to give back in the way I felt I needed to do. But there are other ways to serve. Other ways to help people—hell, you of all people should know that. Becoming a priest was the right stop on my path, but the way forward is more complex, more challenging—and richer and more rewarding than I could ever have imagined.” He stepped closer, his chest rubbing her breasts, and Liza gasped, her knees weakening as his intense stare started to break down the tissue-paper-thin walls she was using to protect herself. “This thing between us, Liza, this...beautiful, sacred thing is what I want to worship, what I want to serve. I love being with you—in and out of bed. I think you might feel the same. And I don’t want to give that up. Not for anything.”

  She was drowning, short on breath, desperate to find an anchor in the storm buffeting her insides. Before she lost her shit entirely, she clamped down hard on the turmoil and slapped a hand on his chest to keep him from crowding her further. A part of her didn’t want to trust that what she was hearing was true, but holy hell, if it was... “What are you saying? If you aren’t a priest anymore, what are you going to do?”

  He smiled, and it was like a chorus of angels hitting a perfect chord in her head. “I’m hoping you might tell me. I’m yours, Liza, at your disposal. You didn’t just introduce me to a lifestyle—you showed me what it meant to give yourself to someone completely, without reservation. When I thought about trying out any of the things we did with someone else, I couldn’t imagine being that free or that safe with anyone but you.” His voice deepened. “And if I’m not mistaken... I wasn’t just another client to you, was I?”

  The words wouldn’t come at first, trapped beneath the swell of hope and love that threatened to strangle her, but she shook her head mutely, and Dominic’s huge smile seemed to unglue her tongue. “It wasn’t right, for me to think of you that way,” she said, reaching up to caress his jaw. He captured her hand with his, pressing it to his cheek. “But oh God, it was perfect with you. I should have stopped it as soon as I knew I’d lost my objectivity, but... I didn’t want it to end.”

  “If you let me, it doesn’t have to. Will you let me make it up to you, my beautiful Liza? I want to earn your forgiveness. I want to own you and worship you and love you and make you insanely happy. Please tell me I haven’t screwed up my chance.” His gorgeous dark eyes were wet with emotion, and it made her heart so full she thought it could burst.

  Everything in her wanted to scream, “Yes!” But one nagging issue made her pause, forcing her to call out the elephant still hiding in plain sight. “I know how much the priesthood meant to you. I’m afraid you’ll end up regretting leaving it behind. It’s as much a part of you as your innate sexual dominance, as your sweet and generous and amazing soul. I don’t want you to wake up one day and resent me for tearing you away from something so important.”

  Dominic ran his hands up her arms and over her shoulders, cupping her face before bringing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss that she returned, the pent-up fear and frustration inside her melting clean away. At once, the last of her barriers collapsed, allowing the love she felt for this amazing man take her over completely. She was floating, drowning, flying. She felt like her feet might never find the ground, and that was just damn fine with her.

  He pulled back, breathing hard. “I’m going to open an afterschool community program in conjunction with St. Joseph’s. I’ve already started the planning, and I’m working with the church to get the funding and hire the right people to make it successful. Service is service, and this will fulfill a long-standing need in the neighborhood. I can do both. That’s what you helped me to see. I can have what I want with who I want. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had.”

  She couldn’t help it—tears welled, spilled, and he wiped them away with the back of his finger.

  “No tears now,” he chided. “But if you’re really good, I swear I’ll give you a reason to cry later tonight.”

  Liza laughed, burying her head in Dominic’s chest. She sniffled a few times, getting herself back under control. When she straightened up, she tilted her chin and licked her lips. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  He leaned his forehead onto hers, biting at her lip. “Green light all the way.”

  Epilogue

  Spring, again

  “Honey, I’m home!” Liza sang out as she unlocked her front door, throwing her purse onto the foyer table. The spring semester of UNO was wrapping up, and Liza’s first gig as a visiting lecturer in sex therapy and surrogacy had gone even better than she’d hoped. Because she’d retired from seeing clients in person, her flexible schedule allowed her to teach in the afternoon and evening, leaving mornings free to contribute to publishing projects centered around the surrogate community.

  And of course, her nights were devoted to one thing alone: Dominic. His days were as full as hers, with the expansion of the youth community center at St. Joseph’s and a new stint as a program leader at the YMCA.

  But when the sun tucked itself away for the night, so did Liza and Dominic.

  “Dom?” she called out. His car wasn’t in the driveway, but that wasn’t surprising, given how often he loaned it out for emergencies. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

  She was about to jog upstairs to see if he was in the shower—and wouldn’t that just be a fun way to start the night?—when strong arms banded her chest, a harsh voice snarling in her ear. “Scream and I’ll hurt you.”

  Never in a million years would Liza mistake Dominic’s heady scent for any other man, nor would she fail to recognize his raspy, hypnotic voice in her ear, his words and surly tone cueing her arousal faster than she could consciously think.

  So when she screamed, it was purely in service to the game.

  “I said,” Dominic snarled, slapping a rough hand across her mouth, “I’d hurt you if you scream. Do you want to get hurt, bitch?” He ground his cock against the swell of her ass, his body fitting tightly, seamlessly, to hers.

  Hoo boy, did she ever want him to hurt her. The last year had been the most amazing of her life, as she and Dominic devoted themselves to learning each other in the most intimate and wicked ways. As his confidence grew, so did the degree of risk they allowed into their exploits, pushing them both so far past either of their boundaries that Liza had no idea what could possibly happen next.<
br />
  It was the hottest, deepest, raunchiest and most fulfilling relationship of her life.

  “No, please,” she whimpered past his hand. “I’ve never done this before.”

  Dominic’s growl of pure lust told her she’d struck a perfect note. “Fuck yeah,” he grunted. “Virgin pussy. I’m gonna tear you in two, baby. You’re gonna squeeze my cock so damn hard. Or maybe I’ll take your tight, untouched asshole instead. Would you like that?”

  Liza shook her head vigorously, even as her body grew languid and lazy with desire. Letting herself go limp, she pretended to be fainting with fear—and Dominic tightened his hold, dragging her up the stairs and toward their bedroom, muttering threats in her ear the whole way. The cares of the day disappeared beneath his touch as she gave herself over, body and soul, to her dominant’s will.

  They played their games many a night, but Liza knew she’d never grow tired of the man who held her trapped in his fierce embrace. With every inventive scenario, every erotic new discovery—hell, every night they simply held hands as they fell asleep—Liza’s love for him grew. Her perfect man. Her Dominic. Her Priest.

  * * * * *

  Acknowledgments

  The author is hugely indebted to the amazing mother-daughter duo of Dr. Cheryl Cohen Greene and Jessica T. Cohen. Many liberties were taken, but their knowledge, experience and influence is lovingly present throughout this story.

  About the Author

  Morgaine Cameron is a California native who loves mountains and redwood groves, and burns like fire if she so much as glances at the sun—which is ironic, because she lives at the beach. She writes deliciously dirty erotic romance and loves to hear from readers! Find Morgaine online at www.morgainecameron.com, Tweet her @AuthorMorgaine and check out www.Facebook.com/authormorgaine for news, upcoming releases, giveaways and impure thoughts.

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